Dear Editor,
I am sure you and your readers believe in, and agree with, the principle of the 'right to reply". The terminological inexactitudes expressed, the perverse logic implied and the bigoted conclusions arrived at Ian Paisley in the recent edition of your Paper places the two of us in the goodly company of those who have also incurred this person's expansive wrath at some stage or other, we list a few of those below for your readers edification;
Members of the British Royal Family
The Church of Ireland (North and South)
The Presbyterian Church of Ireland (North and South)
The Methodist Church (Universally)
All non-subscribing adherents
The Church of England
The Church of Scotland
A variety of Welsh Churches
The World Council of Churches
The British Government
The Conservative Party
The British labour Party
The Social Democrats
The House of Lords
The Orange Order
The Royal Black Preceptory
The Apprentice Boys of Derry
The Northern Ireland Judiciary
The British Army
The Royal Ulster Constabulary
The Ulster Unionist Party
The Alliance Patty
The Workers Party
The Democratic Left
The Independents
The Woman's Coalition
The Labour Group
The Ulster Democratic Party
The Progressive Unionist Party
The Trades Union Movement
The Peace People
All of the religious, political, cultural, educational literary and sporting institutions of our Nationalist/Catholic fellow citizens in Northern Ireland as well as those in Southern Ireland and far flung lands across the seas.
The American President his Government and it's people.
Nelson Mandela and The ANC (funnily enough, not white South Africa)
The Belfast Brooke Clinic (a Family planning establishment)
The Gay Rights Movement
All those who play the Lottery (in the U.K and both sides of the Border)
Any establishment other than a church (of his choice) that opens on a Sunday
Ducks in ponds that swim on a Sunday
Golfers that golf on a Sunday
Sunday Footballers and fans (and the balls they play with)
Sunday Racing fans, bookies, jockeys and horses
Humans that swim on a Sunday
Boats that sail on a Sunday
Pubs, Clubs or any establishment which sells alcohol (referred to as the Devil's buttermilk)We have only included some incursors but Paisley's venom goes world-wide and you can assume that no Country is left unscathed. Is it any wonder this fascist is called the 'great distorter'.
Any so called minister claiming to be a 'Reverend' who declares so offensively and wantonly that Catholic women are 'incubators for Rome' or holds aloft a side of bacon and declares it 'cured in Lourdes' is in urgent need of some form of help.
Paisley forgets that in the past he worked with the self-same Loyalist paramilitaries he now condemns and used them when it suited him (until they 'wised-up').
He also conveniently forgets that he too was a 'jail-bird' in Crumlin Road Prison on two occasions for rabble rousing and more...and himself benefited from a limited Jail Amnesty! Habitual offender you could call him.
He fails to remember that he had his own paramilitary organisations the Ulster Protestant Volunteers and the Ulster Constitutional Defence Committee and paid lip service to the arms-certificate wavers of 'Third Force' and bedecked himself in the 'red beret' of the 'Ulster Resistance' etc, etc.
Ian Paisley is a great 'ditcher' of people when the going gets tough.
To those good people and dumb animals whom we inadvertently omitted from Paisley's hate list, we sincerely apologise. We did not intend to leave you in that limited and misguided company which merits Ian's approval.
Very sincerely and practically,
Two of those who are proud to have incurred Ian Paisley's wrath.
Billy Hutchinson
David Ervine,
Spokespersons of the Progressive Unionist Party